Sending Path · Introduction to Serving · Lesson 4 of 7 · Facing Conflict · about 5 min
From The Christian Life Catechism, Q77
What do I do when the church is divided?
I therefore, the prisoner in the Lord, beg you to walk worthily of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and humility, with patience, bearing with one another in love, being eager to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, even as you also were called in one hope of your calling, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in us all. But to each one of us, the grace was given according to the measure of the gift of Christ.
Ephesians 4:1-7 · WEB
When encouraging one another is done badly, or not done at all, conflict follows. This lesson is about conflict.
Wherever there are people there is conflict, and the church is no exception. In the church at Corinth some said “I follow Paul,” (1 Corinthians 1:10-13) others “I follow Apollos.” (1 Corinthians 1:10-13) Paul asked: “Is Christ divided?” (1 Corinthians 1:10-13)
The book’s Question 77 asks: what should I do when I see conflict in the church? The answer begins with attitude: “with all lowliness and humility, with patience, bearing with one another in love,” (Ephesians 4:1-7) and then names the goal: “being eager to keep the unity of the Spirit.” (Ephesians 4:1-7) Notice the word ‘keep’—unity is the Spirit’s gift; our responsibility is not to tear it down.
In conflict, people most easily look at others first. Jesus said: “First remove the beam out of your own eye, and then you can see clearly to remove the speck out of your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:3-5) Facing conflict, the first question is not ‘who is wrong?’ but ‘what is my part in this?’
Conflict often grows in words spoken behind people’s backs. “Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but only what is good for building others up.” (Ephesians 4:25-32) Don’t pass on gossip, don’t take sides, don’t forward things in group chats; say what you have to say face to face, or take it to a pastor. This is the most basic practice for anyone who wants to serve. When Jesus prayed for his disciples, what he asked was “that they may all be one.” (John 17:20-22)
One more thing must be said clearly: if behind the conflict someone has been harmed—including harmed by people with office or authority—unity does not mean silence. Please go to someone in the church who can take responsibility; if necessary, seek help from organizations outside the church.
Being eager to keep the unity of the Spirit
Ephesians 4:3 · WEB
This week, watch what comes out of your mouth: don’t repeat anything said behind someone’s back, not even once; if there is friction between you and someone, pray for them once.
Just this one thing. When you do it, tap that day below; if you don’t, that’s all right—try again next week.
Good. Tap each day you do it this week:
Putting down roots is not something you do alone. Find a brother or sister you trust (ideally of the same sex) and talk this question over this week:
In church conflicts you have seen, how did people finally reconcile? Or why did they not?