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Marriage

My Verse Collection · all 88 questions · Chapter 4 (Q45–60)

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Q45May I marry someone who does not believe?

I have thought about it—show the answer

Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship do righteousness and iniquity have? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness? What agreement does Christ have with Belial? Or what portion does a believer have with an unbeliever? What agreement does a temple of God have with idols? For you are a temple of the living God. Even as God said, “I will dwell in them and walk in them. I will be their God and they will be my people.” Therefore “‘Come out from among them, and be separate,’ says the Lord. ‘Touch no unclean thing. I will receive you.”

2 Corinthians 6:14-17 · WEB
See also (another 1 verses)
  • A wife is bound by law for as long as her husband lives; but if the husband is dead, she is free to be married to whomever she desires, only in the Lord.1 Corinthians 7:39

Q46What does God say about sex before marriage?

I have thought about it—show the answer

For this is the will of God: your sanctification, that you abstain from sexual immorality, that each one of you know how to control his own body in sanctification and honor, not in the passion of lust, even as the Gentiles who don’t know God,

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 · WEB
See also (another 5 verses)
  • Flee sexual immorality! “Every sin that a man does is outside the body,” but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.1 Corinthians 6:18
  • Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled; but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.Hebrews 13:4
  • But sexual immorality, and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be mentioned among you, as becomes saints;Ephesians 5:3
  • “Foods for the belly, and the belly for foods,” but God will bring to nothing both it and them. But the body is not for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.1 Corinthians 6:13
  • Now the deeds of the flesh are obvious, which are: adultery, sexual immorality, uncleanness, lustfulness,Galatians 5:19

Q47What are a husband and wife to be to each other?

I have thought about it—show the answer

Subjecting yourselves to one another in the fear of Christ. Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the assembly, being himself the savior of the body. But as the assembly is subject to Christ, so let the wives also be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the assembly to himself gloriously, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without defect. Even so husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. For no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord also does the assembly, because we are members of his body, of his flesh and bones. “For this cause a man will leave his father and mother and will be joined to his wife. Then the two will become one flesh.” This mystery is great, but I speak concerning Christ and the assembly. Nevertheless each of you must also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Ephesians 5:21-33 · WEB
See also (another 2 verses)
  • The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper comparable to him.”Genesis 2:18
  • Wives, be in subjection to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and don’t be bitter against them.Colossians 3:18-19

Churches understand this question in different ways; please ask your own church.

Q48How should I treat my spouse?

I have thought about it—show the answer

Make my joy full by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind; doing nothing through rivalry or through conceit, but in humility, each counting others better than himself; each of you not just looking to his own things, but each of you also to the things of others.

Philippians 2:2-4 · WEB
See also (another 1 verses)
  • It shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you shall be your servant. Whoever desires to be first among you shall be your bondservant, even as the Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.Matthew 20:26-28

Q49What makes a good husband?

I have thought about it—show the answer

You husbands, in the same way, live with your wives according to knowledge, giving honor to the woman as to the weaker vessel, as also being joint heirs of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

1 Peter 3:7 · WEB
See also (another 4 verses)
  • The overseer therefore must be without reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, sensible, modest, hospitable, good at teaching; not a drinker, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous; one who rules his own house well, having children in subjection with all reverence; (for how could someone who doesn’t know how to rule his own house take care of God’s assembly?)1 Timothy 3:2-5
  • I desire therefore that the men in every place pray, lifting up holy hands without anger and doubting.1 Timothy 2:8
  • Whether therefore you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.1 Corinthians 10:31
  • When he had removed him, he raised up David to be their king, to whom he also testified, ‘I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after my heart, who will do all my will.’Acts 13:22

Churches understand this question in different ways; please ask your own church.

Q50What makes a good wife?

I have thought about it—show the answer

Who can find a worthy woman? For her value is far above rubies. The heart of her husband trusts in her. He shall have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and works eagerly with her hands. She is like the merchant ships. She brings her bread from afar. She rises also while it is yet night, gives food to her household, and portions for her servant girls. She considers a field, and buys it. With the fruit of her hands, she plants a vineyard. She arms her waist with strength, and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp doesn’t go out by night. She lays her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. She opens her arms to the poor; yes, she extends her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household, for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She makes for herself carpets of tapestry. Her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and delivers sashes to the merchant. Strength and dignity are her clothing. She laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom. Kind instruction is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household, and doesn’t eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed. Her husband also praises her: “Many women do noble things, but you excel them all.” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain; but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands! Let her works praise her in the gates!

Proverbs 31:10-31 · WEB
See also (another 2 verses)
  • In the same way, wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, so that, even if any don’t obey the Word, they may be won by the behavior of their wives without a word, seeing your pure behavior in fear. Let your beauty come not from the outward adorning of braiding your hair, and of wearing gold ornaments or of putting on fine clothing, but from the hidden person of the heart, in the incorruptible adornment of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in God’s sight. For this is how in the past the holy women who hoped in God also adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands. So Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose children you now are if you do well and are not put in fear by any terror.1 Peter 3:1-6
  • Their wives in the same way must be reverent, not slanderers, temperate, and faithful in all things.1 Timothy 3:11

Churches understand this question in different ways; please ask your own church.

Q51What if I am already married to an unbeliever?

I have thought about it—show the answer

The woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he is content to live with her, let her not leave her husband. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified in the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified in the husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. Yet if the unbeliever departs, let there be separation. The brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us in peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

1 Corinthians 7:13-16 · WEB

Q52Where do our quarrels come from?

I have thought about it—show the answer

The LORD God called to the man, and said to him, “Where are you?” The man said, “I heard your voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; so I hid myself.” God said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?” The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” the LORD God said to the woman, “What have you done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

Genesis 3:9-13 · WEB
See also (another 1 verses)
  • To the woman he said, “I will greatly multiply your pain in childbirth. You will bear children in pain. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.” To Adam he said, “Because you have listened to your wife’s voice, and have eaten from the tree, about which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat of it,’ the ground is cursed for your sake. You will eat from it with much labor all the days of your life. It will yield thorns and thistles to you; and you will eat the herb of the field. You will eat bread by the sweat of your face until you return to the ground, for you were taken out of it. For you are dust, and you shall return to dust.”Genesis 3:16-19

Q53Why do believing couples still fight?

I have thought about it—show the answer

Brothers, I couldn’t speak to you as to spiritual, but as to fleshly, as to babies in Christ. I fed you with milk, not with solid food, for you weren’t yet ready. Indeed, you aren’t ready even now, for you are still fleshly. For insofar as there is jealousy, strife, and factions among you, aren’t you fleshly, and don’t you walk in the ways of men?

1 Corinthians 3:1-3 · WEB
See also (another 3 verses)
  • Beware, brothers, lest perhaps there might be in any one of you an evil heart of unbelief, in falling away from the living God; but exhort one another day by day, so long as it is called “today”, lest any one of you be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. For we have become partakers of Christ, if we hold the beginning of our confidence firm to the end,Hebrews 3:12-14
  • There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear has punishment. He who fears is not made perfect in love. We love him, because he first loved us. If a man says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who doesn’t love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen?1 John 4:18-20
  • A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.Proverbs 15:1

Q54We fought again today. What now?

I have thought about it—show the answer

Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you.

Ephesians 4:31-32 · WEB
See also (another 6 verses)
  • Then Peter came and said to him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Until seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I don’t tell you until seven times, but, until seventy times seven. Therefore the Kingdom of Heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. When he had begun to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. But because he couldn’t pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, with his wife, his children, and all that he had, and payment to be made. The servant therefore fell down and knelt before him, saying, ‘Lord, have patience with me, and I will repay you all!’ The lord of that servant, being moved with compassion, released him and forgave him the debt. “But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him one hundred denarii, and he grabbed him and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’ “So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will repay you!’ He would not, but went and cast him into prison until he should pay back that which was due. So when his fellow servants saw what was done, they were exceedingly sorry, and came and told their lord all that was done. Then his lord called him in and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Shouldn’t you also have had mercy on your fellow servant, even as I had mercy on you?’ His lord was angry, and delivered him to the tormentors until he should pay all that was due to him. So my heavenly Father will also do to you, if you don’t each forgive your brother from your hearts for his misdeeds.”””Matthew 18:21-35
  • “Be angry, and don’t sin.” Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath, and don’t give place to the devil.Ephesians 4:26-27
  • Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but only what is good for building others up as the need may be, that it may give grace to those who hear.Ephesians 4:29
  • Put on therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, a heart of compassion, kindness, lowliness, humility, and perseverance; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, if any man has a complaint against any; even as Christ forgave you, so you also do.Colossians 3:12-13
  • Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The insistent prayer of a righteous person is powerfully effective.James 5:16
  • “If therefore you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has anything against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.”Matthew 5:23-24

Q55How do we stop fighting and live the new life?

I have thought about it—show the answer

So, then, my beloved brothers, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger; for the anger of man doesn’t produce the righteousness of God. Therefore, putting away all filthiness and overflowing of wickedness, receive with humility the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.

James 1:19-21 · WEB
See also (another 2 verses)
  • Where do wars and fightings among you come from? Don’t they come from your pleasures that war in your members? You lust, and don’t have. You murder and covet, and can’t obtain. You fight and make war. You don’t have, because you don’t ask. You ask, and don’t receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures. You adulterers and adulteresses, don’t you know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you think that the Scripture says in vain, “The Spirit who lives in us yearns jealously”? But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” Be subject therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners. Purify your hearts, you double-minded. Lament, mourn, and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he will exalt you.James 4:1-10
  • One who is slow to anger is better than the mighty; one who rules his spirit, than he who takes a city.Proverbs 16:32

Q56What is sex within marriage meant to be?

I have thought about it—show the answer

The wife doesn’t have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise also the husband doesn’t have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Don’t deprive one another, unless it is by consent for a season, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer, and may be together again, that Satan doesn’t tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

1 Corinthians 7:4-5 · WEB
See also (another 5 verses)
  • Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth; for your love is better than wine.Song of Solomon 1:2
  • My beloved is to me a sachet of myrrh, that lies between my breasts.Song of Solomon 1:13
  • Behold, you are beautiful, my love. Behold, you are beautiful. Your eyes are like doves. Behold, you are beautiful, my beloved, yes, pleasant; and our couch is verdant. The beams of our house are cedars. Our rafters are firs.Song of Solomon 1:15-17
  • My beloved is mine, and I am his. He browses among the lilies. Until the day is cool, and the shadows flee away, turn, my beloved, and be like a roe or a young deer on the mountains of Bether.Song of Solomon 2:16-17
  • Your lips, my bride, drip like the honeycomb. Honey and milk are under your tongue. The smell of your garments is like the smell of Lebanon. My sister, my bride, is a locked up garden; a locked up spring, a sealed fountain.Song of Solomon 4:11-12

Q57Should we have children?

I have thought about it—show the answer

Behold, children are a heritage of the LORD. The fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows in the hand of a mighty man, so are the children of youth.

Psalm 127:3-4 · WEB
See also (another 2 verses)
  • God blessed them. God said to them, “Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, and subdue it. Have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the sky, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”Genesis 1:28
  • He lifted up his eyes, and saw the women and the children; and said, “Who are these with you?” He said, “The children whom God has graciously given your servant.”Genesis 33:5

Q58What if we cannot have children?

I have thought about it—show the answer

Isaac entreated the LORD for his wife, because she was barren. The LORD was entreated by him, and Rebekah his wife conceived.

Genesis 25:21 · WEB
See also (another 4 verses)
  • When Rachel saw that she bore Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister. She said to Jacob, “Give me children, or else I will die.” Jacob’s anger burned against Rachel, and he said, “Am I in God’s place, who has withheld from you the fruit of the womb?”Genesis 30:1-2
  • There was a certain man of Zorah, of the family of the Danites, whose name was Manoah; and his wife was barren, and childless. The LORD’s angel appeared to the woman, and said to her, “See now, you are barren and childless; but you shall conceive and bear a son. Now therefore please beware and drink no wine nor strong drink, and don’t eat any unclean thing; for, behold, you shall conceive and give birth to a son. No razor shall come on his head, for the child shall be a Nazirite to God from the womb. He shall begin to save Israel out of the hand of the Philistines.”Judges 13:2-5
  • Those who were full have hired themselves out for bread. Those who were hungry are satisfied. Yes, the barren has borne seven. She who has many children languishes. “The LORD kills and makes alive. He brings down to Sheol and brings up. The LORD makes poor and makes rich. He brings low, he also lifts up.”1 Samuel 2:5-7
  • He settles the barren woman in her home as a joyful mother of children. Praise the LORD!Psalm 113:9

Q59May a widow remarry?

I have thought about it—show the answer

A wife is bound by law for as long as her husband lives; but if the husband is dead, she is free to be married to whomever she desires, only in the Lord. But she is happier if she stays as she is, in my judgment, and I think that I also have God’s Spirit.

1 Corinthians 7:39-40 · WEB
See also (another 1 verses)
  • I desire therefore that the younger widows marry, bear children, rule the household, and give no occasion to the adversary for insulting. For already some have turned away after Satan.1 Timothy 5:14-15

Churches understand this question in different ways; please ask your own church.

Q60May Christians divorce?

I have thought about it—show the answer

Pharisees came to him, testing him and saying, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason?” He answered, “Haven’t you read that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall be joined to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh’? So that they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, don’t let man tear apart.” They asked him, “Why then did Moses command us to give her a certificate of divorce and divorce her?” He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it has not been so. I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and he who marries her when she is divorced commits adultery.”

Matthew 19:3-9 · WEB
See also (another 2 verses)
  • “It was also said, ‘Whoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorce,’ but I tell you that whoever puts away his wife, except for the cause of sexual immorality, makes her an adulteress; and whoever marries her when she is put away commits adultery.”Matthew 5:31-32
  • Yet you say, ‘Why?’ Because the LORD has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and the wife of your covenant. Did he not make you one, although he had the residue of the Spirit? Why one? He sought godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. One who hates and divorces, says the LORD, the God of Israel, “covers his garment with violence!” says the LORD of Armies. “Therefore pay attention to your spirit, that you don’t be unfaithful.”Malachi 2:14-16

Churches understand this question in different ways; please ask your own church.