Each meeting covers one lesson. The passage, questions and notes are all on the lesson page, and group members can print their own copy.
Leaders need only this guide: first the flow that is the same every time, then the focus points and tips for each lesson.
A lesson takes about an hour. Meet weekly or every other week — whatever fits your group.
Each Meetingabout 55 min
Snacks and catching up
10 min
Read together
10 min
Discussion
25 min
This week
5 min
Close (prayer optional)
5 min
Opening: Start with last time’s ‘This week’: ‘Did you do it? How did it go?’ For the first lesson, ask everyone to say in one sentence why they want to read about this person. The leader goes first.
Read together: Take turns reading the passage, a few verses each. The leader reads the short notes between sections.
Discussion: You don’t need to discuss every question in ‘Think It Through.’ Pick one or two from each group, add this lesson’s focus points, and that is plenty.
This week: Read it together, and ask each person to decide on the one small thing they will do this week.
Close: You can pray using a verse from the lesson. If some aren’t used to praying aloud, a minute of silence together is fine too.
Focus 1 (vv. 11–16): A man running from home falls asleep with a stone under his head; God tells him, “I am with you,” and he wakes and says, “Surely the LORD is in this place, and I didn’t know it.” Ask the group: reading these verses, what do you see?
Focus 2 (questions 7–8): Ask each person to say what comes to mind as they read verses 15 and 13 — the leader does not draw the conclusion for the group, and the group does not need to agree.
Focus 3 (This week): Everyone writes down a time when, only later, they saw that God had been there. Next time, anyone who wants to can share.
Leader tip: Jacob’s birth and his taking of the blessing were read in Isaac, Lessons 2 and 5; this lesson does not go over them again. Don’t analyze Jacob’s character: don’t call him ‘a deceiver’ or say ‘God chose a cheat,’ and don’t say he became a different man from this night on. Read the vow in vv. 20–22 as written; don’t judge whether Jacob was bargaining, and don’t make it ‘give first and then be blessed’; don’t make the tenth a rule for giving today. ‘Pointing to Christ’ only reads Gen 28:12 and John 1:51 side by side; don’t develop it into ‘the stairway is a picture of the cross’ or the like. Don’t work out Jacob’s age when he left home; Bethel and Luz don’t need archaeology. There may be people in the group who are running from home, cut off from family, or living alone far away — don’t press on questions 5 and 9; only those who want to share need to.
Focus 1 (vv. 20, 25): “They seemed to him but a few days”; and in the morning, “behold, it was Leah!” Ask the group: reading these two verses, what do you see?
Focus 2 (questions 7–8): Ask each person to say what comes to mind as they read verses 31, 32 and 35 — the leader does not draw the conclusion for the group, and the group does not need to agree.
Focus 3 (This week): Everyone thinks of someone who may feel they ‘come second’ and goes to talk with them this week. Next time, anyone who wants to can share (without naming the person).
Leader tip: Don’t make Laban a villain: read his words as written, without calling him cunning or greedy, and without defending him. Jacob’s “Why then have you deceived me?” (v. 25) and Isaac’s words to Esau, “Your brother came with deceit” (Gen 27:35), are only set side by side in the Notes; don’t make it ‘the deceiver is deceived’ or ‘you reap what you sow.’ Read the marriages as written; don’t comment on marriage customs. Read v. 17 about the sisters’ looks as written; don’t compare who was prettier or more pitiable, or which sister was better. Don’t analyze Jacob’s character. Don’t work out Jacob’s age at his marriage. There may be people in the group who are unloved in marriage, compared with others at home, or who have been deceived into a marriage — don’t press on questions 6 and 10; only those who want to share need to.
Focus 1 (vv. 7–12): “Jacob was greatly afraid,” and then comes a prayer. Ask the group: reading this prayer, what do you see Jacob saying?
Focus 2 (questions 7–8): Ask each person to say what comes to mind as they read verses 10, 28 and 30 — the leader does not draw the conclusion for the group, and the group does not need to agree.
Focus 3 (This week): Everyone thinks of a person or a matter they are very afraid to face, and tells God about it plainly this week. Next time, anyone who wants to can share.
Leader tip: Of the ‘man’ who wrestled with Jacob, the passage says Jacob “wrestled with a man there” (v. 24), Jacob says, “I have seen God face to face” (v. 30), and Hosea says, “he struggled with the angel, and prevailed” (Hos 12:4) — read them side by side as written; don’t say who the man was, and don’t say he was Christ. Don’t make it ‘Jacob was broken by God and became good from then on’; read the renaming as written — the text goes on using both names, ‘Jacob’ and ‘Israel,’ and that needs no explaining. The sinew of the hip (v. 32) doesn’t need customs or medicine from outside the Bible. Laban, mentioned in Before We Begin, is read only for what he said and did; don’t make him a villain; Gen 31:42 is Jacob speaking to Laban. There may be people in the group with physical disabilities or long-term pain; don’t turn the ‘wound’ in question 10 into ‘a disabled body.’ There may also be people very afraid to face family — don’t press on questions 9 and 10; only those who want to share need to.
Focus 1 (vv. 3–4): “bowed himself to the ground seven times”; “Esau ran to meet him, embraced him”; “and they wept.” Ask the group: reading these verses, what do you see?
Focus 2 (questions 7–8): Ask each person to say what comes to mind as they read verses 5 and 10 — the leader does not draw the conclusion for the group, and the group does not need to agree.
Focus 3 (This week): Everyone thinks of someone with whom things have not been mended and prays for them once this week. Next time, anyone who wants to can share (without naming the person).
Leader tip: Don’t turn this lesson into ‘you have to reconcile’: after the brothers met, the passage records them going separate ways (vv. 16–17); there is no need to guess how complete their reconciliation was. Read Jacob’s ordering of the children (v. 2) and his declining to travel with Esau (vv. 13–15) as written; don’t judge him as partial or calculating, or ask whether he was telling the truth. Read Esau as written; don’t make him a villain, and don’t make him a saint. ‘This week’ says only ‘if it is appropriate, and safe’: there may be people in the group who are cut off from family because they were harmed; don’t urge them to contact anyone. Don’t press on questions 9 and 10; only those who want to share need to.
Focus 1 (vv. 2–4): God “said, ‘Jacob, Jacob!’ He said, ‘Here I am’”; God says, “Don’t be afraid” and “I will go down with you into Egypt.” Ask the group: reading these verses, what do you see?
Focus 2 (questions 7–8): Ask each person to say what comes to mind as they read verses 4 and 2 — the leader does not draw the conclusion for the group, and the group does not need to agree.
Focus 3 (This week): Everyone chooses one of the two: entrust a coming move to God, or greet someone who has just moved. Next time, anyone who wants to can share.
Leader tip: What happened to Dinah (Gen 34), mentioned in Before We Begin, is read only as those two sentences; don’t expand on it or discuss details, and don’t ask the group to talk about it. Read Rachel’s death in childbirth (Gen 35:16-19) as written. Joseph’s story was read in the Joseph lessons; this lesson does not go over it again. Read “Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children” (Gen 37:3) as written; don’t make it a parenting lesson. God calls him ‘Jacob’ and the passage also calls him ‘Israel’; the two names are used side by side and need no explaining. Read ‘seventy’ as written; there is no need to compare it with numbers elsewhere. Goshen and the shepherds being ‘an abomination to the Egyptians’ don’t need history from outside the Bible. There may be survivors of sexual violence in the group, people who lost someone in childbirth, or people who emigrated or were forced to leave home — don’t press on questions 5, 9 and 10; only those who want to share need to.
Focus 1 (vv. 15–16): “the God who has fed me all my life long to this day, the angel who has redeemed me from all evil.” Ask the group: reading how Jacob looks back on his life here, what do you see?
Focus 2 (questions 7–8): Ask each person to say what comes to mind as they read verses 15–16 and 21 — the leader does not draw the conclusion for the group, and the group does not need to agree.
Focus 3 (This week): Everyone writes down the verse from Jacob’s life that has stayed with them most, and blesses a young person once this week. Next time, anyone who wants to can share.
Leader tip: Read the crossed hands in v. 14 as written; don’t make it ‘God always chooses the younger,’ and don’t compare it with Isaac and Esau. Read “the angel who has redeemed me from all evil” (v. 16) as written; don’t make it Christ. Jacob’s blessings on his sons in Genesis 49 are not read in this lesson and are not gone through one by one. Read one hundred forty-seven years and seventeen years in Egypt as written; there is no need to calculate. There may be people in the group who are seriously ill, caring for a dying relative, or who have just lost an elderly loved one — don’t press on questions 5 and 9; only those who want to share need to. Question 11 is for looking back.
Principles
The leader is not a teacher, but someone walking alongside everyone else.
Give everyone a chance to speak. If some talk a lot, you can gently say, ‘Let’s hear from those who haven’t spoken yet.’
Don’t rush to give answers. If there is silence, wait a few more seconds.
If you can’t answer a question, it’s fine to say, ‘I don’t know — let’s look into it together,’ and come back to it next time.
What is said in the group stays in the group.
At the start, the leader can share their own answer first. Keep it simple and honest.
In the lessons, words in double quotes with a reference are scripture. What the passage does not say, we can only guess; guessing is fine, as long as we say we are guessing.
Don’t press on painful things. If someone becomes upset, stay with them after the meeting; if needed, involve a pastor from their church or a professional counselor.